|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Starring Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin, Will
Hare, Tara Buckman & Geoff Hansen
Written by Paul Caimi & Michael Hickey
Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr.
|
The stupidest Christmas Horror Movie EVER made?
No not really, but it got you reading, didn't it? Look at you, all eager to dispute my highly esteemed opinion!! Or not. I'm actually taking a look at something of a cinematic classic, made way back in good ol' 1984 - Silent Night, Deadly Night.
The films plot is simple and delightfully anti-Christmas. It introduces us to a young boy, Billy, who witness' his parents brutal murder at the hands of a crazed hitchhiker, in full Santa Claus get-up (I ask you, would you stop for Santa on an empty freeway? No, me neither!). One can't help but feel if only they'd taken a leaf out of Death Race 2000's hallowed scriptures and mowed him down for a few points instead (what d'ya reckon, 150 points for Mr Claus?!) if it would all have been a very different story? But I'm drifting from my point, that is another discussion for another time....
So, back to le 'plot'. Fast forward a few years and our Billy has been at the mercy of some abusive nuns - ruddy do-gooders - for a few years and finally snaps when he is asked to one day don (ultimate insult time) a Santa Claus suit. Cue a killing rampage that would make Charles Manson, et al, proud.
The films 'extreme' Christmas message and film poster, which shows a Santa Claus emerging from a chimney and welding an axe, caused outrage upon its release. Subsequently, the film was withdrawn from theatres and is still considered to be notorious today.
Okay, so with background info in place, let's read on for a few plot highlights - the choice cuts if you will. Enjoy!
1. Our anti-hero Billy is initially warned at the beginning of the film to run if he ever sees Santa. Who is issuing this warning? His loopy Grandad. Grandparents, eh? Nothing but doom and gloom, always spoiling things for the younger generations!
2. Yes, nuns are featured and, shock and horror, they are nasty old bints. I ask you, what the hell ever happened to Christianity?
3. Linnea Quigley, topless again, treats us to some festive cheer in the form of a little titty time. A welcome, albeit brief, break from the multiple murders and a reminder to us all that Christmastime is indeed a time of hope and joy.
4. Billy goes nuts and kills his boss, amongst numerous others, including the Nuns, all the while dressed as, yep, you got it, Santa.
Now, even though it lacks in acting, script and budget, you gotta admit it gives back in good ol' fashioned cheap thrills and PC-free charm. I like to think that there's nothing we here at BthroughZ like better. Stupid to some perhaps, literal poetry to others.
It's a film best viewed post drunken stupor, ala Xmas-day evening. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT put this on as the day's family time feel good movie. IT WILL NOT GO DOWN WELL! Just trust me on this one. It's a hammed up classic, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who has thought about ruining Mr Claus's image forever by dressing up in a cheap red suit and going on a killing spree.
Merry fucking Christmas!
|
sophia