The Brood (1979) Starring Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar & Art Hindle Written & Directed by David Cronenberg

But wait!

Do you know what makes me even happier? Fetus licking.

It just - *sigh* - gets at my heart strings.

The Brood (1979) is a somewhat cheesy, shock-and-vomit horror film that was directed and written by David Cronenberg (Eastern Promises, A History of Violence, eXistenZ). The film's plot concerns the controversial therapy sessions Dr. Hal Raglan (played by Oliver Reed) subjects his severely troubled mental patients to (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078908/).

We're introduced to the doctor's crazzzy therapy sessions at the beginning of the film. Raglan dishes out "treatment" to his patient, Michael, in front of an audience. During treatment, the bearded patient yells out and asks for his daddy. The doctor then seamlessly slips into the "demented dad" roll. Raglan provokes his patient by telling him that he only owns frilly things. Dear old dad then mistakes his patient for a girl:

"I'm sorry Michelle...oh, wait, I mean Mike. With your soft little girl's voice, I couldn't understand what you said."

Too good.

Soon, the patient is pushed to his limits. He swiftly rips off his shirt and exposes a series of mysterious welts on the surface of his skin. We come to find out Michael's welts are the signs of the manifested pain that lives inside of him.

Tasty.

When dumb-dad, Frank, notices that his Children of the Corn, bright-blonde haired daughter came home with bruises, bites and scratches after seeing her mother, he begins to wonder, "what exactly is this here Dr. doing to my wife, and what can I do to stop him?"

Cut to Frank jumping into his car and driving to Dr. Raglan's office/home/bungalo.

After the Frank meeting, Dr. Raglan begins to wonder what is going on with Frank's wife, so he pays her a visit. This conversation ensues:

Doctor: "Mummy you hurt me. You hit me with your fists and, and scratched me with your nails."

Mummy: "No I didn't. Mummies don't do that. They don't hurt their own children."

Doctor: "The never do?"

Mummy: "Sometimes...sometimes they do. They're bad mummies. Fucked up mummies."

Yeah. This treatment is going well, I'd say.

Meanwhile...

Frank's drunk mother-in-law is watching his disturbed daughter. Good idea, right? All's going awkward as usual, and then, a crash! Milk is spilled, orange juice runs, well, orange.

The grandmother foolishly gets up to refresh her and her granddaughter's drink, and to find out what caused the commotion. And, wham! A child-sized attacker who is wielding a meat tenderizer jumps on the old broad.

As the lightly disturbed granddaughter peers upwards to see if whoever attacked her grandmother has disappeared, the miniature attacker appears again, hissing, and leaves tiny blood stained handprints on the house's pristine white bannister.

This attack leads to many others (which are equally hilarious). Eventually, Frank finds a dead attacker, and takes it to a morgue (which uses state-of-the-art red light technology for viewing bodies).

As some of you may know, Cronenberg has a love for all things fleshy, awkward and disgusting. Towards the end of the movie, more of Dr. Raglan's patients come forward to display their, um, bodies' additions.

Viewing this excess flesh really worries Frank. He decides to visit the doctor again. Trouble ensues. Wounds are opened. Wrath is unleashed.

Anyhow.

Here are some fun-facts about the film:

1. The doctor has professional meetings in his bathrobe and has a mystery "assistant."

2. The doctor and father play their parts as other actors. Doctor Raglan effortlessly channels William Shatner and Frank flawlessly conjures Mark Whalberg's look of perpetual confusion that appears in The Happening.

3. The demon children only attack people with mallet-like objects and love to wear fashionable snowsuits.

4. Robert A. Silverman and his SPECTACULAR toupee make an appearance.

5. A corpse is covered with a sheet of paper that reads, "plant pumpkin seeds."

The Brood, while quirky and a bit dated, is a solid film. There's plenty of gore and murderous children. Sadly, there is no sex and the viewer isn't barraged with tit shots.

Hey, a film can't be perfect, right?

Most of the acting is stilted, but there are a few scenes where every actor shines, especially the scenes with Nola. While the plot is odd, it's interesting, original, and most important of all, it stays on track.

And, hey!

If you're looking for a fun film that disturbs you to the point of disgust and will make you think, "wow. This is why I shouldn't reproduce," then this is the film for you.