Long Weekend aka Nature's Grave (2008)
Starring Jim Caveizel & Claudia Karvan
Directed by Jamie Blanks
Written by Ernest Roche
Peter (Caveizel) and Carla (Karvan) are a well-to-do married couple on the brink of divorce. In a last gasp effort to patch things up, they take a long weekend break; Carla wants to go to a hotel, but Peter would rather they head to a secluded beach. Peter gets his way. Off into unexplored rural terrain, with their luxury 4x4, thousand dollar camping equipment, surfboards, hampers of food and alcohol, and Peter's almost fetishistic collection of weapons. But despite the unspoiled beauty of the place they find themselves in, it quickly becomes clear their relationship is not getting any better - not with themselves, or the land around them. Caught up in their resentment of one another, they think nothing of running over animals, chopping down trees, spraying anthills and randomly opening fire on flocks of birds and fish. But beyond their own personal issues, the couple slowly realise something altogether weirder is going on. Some angry unseen force is at work out there in the wilderness, quite probably nature itself - and it's after them.
As George Carlin once said when discussing environmentalism, "the planet is fine. We're fucked." That certainly seems to be the case in Long Weekend, a remake of a 1978 Australian horror movie (with which I must confess I am totally unfamiliar) updated to the 21st century courtesy of Jamie Blanks, director of Urban Legend and Valentine. And considering that both the aforementioned were in their own way efficient but overall pretty bland and forgettable, it's not too surprising that this movie, while not without its strengths, winds up more than a little on the prosaic side.
I suppose it's admirable that the writer, director and actors have clearly gone to pains to make Long Weekend a 'serious' horror movie. Indeed, it's rare that we see a modern horror film whose focus is on actual bona fide adults, as opposed to teens or twentysomethings. Caveizel and Karvan make for a convincing couple, and on the whole their relationship issues are handled in a very plausible manner, in a way that should not alienate viewers of either sex. The guys will understand his exhaustion with her anxious, demanding, high maintenance nature; the ladies will understand why she can't stand his boorish, obnoxious, drunken behaviour. Indeed, Caveizel's never really played a character who's this big an arsehole before, and I've got to say he does it really well; the guy is thoroughly loathsome, and it's to Caveizel's credit that he seems unconcerned about losing the sympathy of the audience. Alas, the same cannot be said of his attempt at an Australian accent. He approaches it so half-heartedly, you can't help wondering why he bothered at all; it's only the occasional turn of phrase, like saying 'chuck' instead of saying chicken, that really draws attention to the character's nationality. Naturally Karvan fares better there, but... erm... she actually is Australian.
Part of the problem might be that, a couple of short scenes aside, the movie is almost entirely a two-hander, and neither character is particularly likeable. This may be entirely deliberate, given that we are intended to take note of how their aggressive, inconsiderate ways and their disregard for the balance of nature brings about nature's wrath. Said wrath is brought forth in an initially intriguing manner, with plenty of evocative shots of the wilderness, indistinct shadows beneath the ocean waves, little things suddenly appearing out of place, and the gradual build-up to the realisation that something is very wrong. Unfortunately, this build up doesn't lead anywhere particularly satisfying, seeming to rush all-too quickly to an all-too easy ending. Still, I know I can't be the only one who, when the shadowy form appeared in the water shimmering toward our Australian protagonist, thought - is it a stingray?! (What? It can't still be soon for jokes about that, can it?)
Let's face it, with the likes of Swept Away and Three (neither of which I've seen, I must confess), movies that centre on two characters alone on a beach haven't had too great a critical reception in recent years. Long Weekend isn't going to change that. Hell, given that it was made in 2008 and is only just getting a straight to DVD release in the UK (having been released Stateside last year with little aplomb, under the title Nature's Grave), it's apparent that no one involved is considering it a particular highlight on their CV. It's not exactly bad, but there isn't a great deal to recommend it either. One to catch on a rainy night of channel-hopping, perhaps, and under such circumstances you might just be satisfied; otherwise, I wouldn't recommend going to any trouble tracking it down.
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ben