Stay Alive (2006)
Starring Jon Foster & Frankie Muniz
Directed by William Brent Bell
Written by William Brent Bell & Matthew Peterman

 

When faced with a decision to view the unrated version of many horror films, most viewers will anticipate either (a) more gore, (b) more nudity, (c) more crazy sh*t that wouldn’t make it to the theatrical version; or (d) all of the above.

Sometimes, like Mick Jagger sings, you can’t always get what you want. This is so true after watching “Stay Alive”. The extended unrated version doesn’t give the viewer any feeling of an expanded storyline at all. No, if anything, the viewer will probably come away from watching this with an expanded waistline. More snacks, more drinks, more boredom…well, you get the idea.

The extended version of “Stay Alive” does make more sense if that’s possible. The addition of a scene with Alice Krige (who was equally creepy in another videogame-turned-movie “Silent Hill”) explains a little more to the viewer. Samaire Armstrong’s character, Abigail, also has more of a backstory in the director’s cut.

If you think you’re seeing bits and pieces from other horror movies, you are. This movie will make you recall “The Ring” (the American remake), “Doom” (the game-turned-movie starring The Rock), and maybe even “The Fog” (the remake). This is nothing new since many other movies have done the same thing with recycling ideas. Neil Marshall’s “Doomsday” comes to mind, but at least that was more fun!

The story in “Stay Alive” revolves around this hip group of friends/gamers who receive a mysterious package with this underground video game called “Stay Alive”. They do what most people would do when faced with something that sounds new and interesting. Curiosity is born and must be satisfied. The group pops the disc into their console and the game begins.

They read the game’s opening screen in unison. Apparently, this must have been a requirement in the game’s rules. They tell each other that it’s like a séance. What they bring forward is pretty much the horror movie cliché: what is fun has its consequences.

Is it a coincidence that the game’s avatars look amazingly like the group’s members? Probably. This may have been intentional because the viewer can easily tell who gets killed and who is likely the next victim.

The cast includes Sophia Bush (October), Jon Foster (Hutch), Frankie Muniz (Swink), Jimmi Simpson (Phineus) and Samaire Armstrong (Abigail).  

James Haven, famous for his award show kiss with sister Angelina Jolie, has a minor role as the game’s developer in “Stay Alive” and it’s nothing to kiss and tell about. In fact, he doesn’t even get to lock lips with either female lead here.

Samaire Armstrong (Abigail, the blonde hottie) and Sophia Bush (October, the goth chick) are only in this movie as eye candy and don’t get to show the viewers their character’s depth. Screaming at ghostly visions doesn’t help you understand how these two joined up with this group of gamers. Most of this movie’s characters are so thinly written that viewers will have more fun guessing who is going to die next.

Frankie Muniz (Swink, the nerd) is given lines like “hey, the game is playing itself!” among other gems. Most viewers will just say “hey, it’s that guy from ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ and he’s playing this killer video game”.

Adam Goldberg (Miller Banks, an intense nerd) is under utilized as well. It’s obvious that his character doesn’t have much time left in the game or in his life.

The game’s villain is called the Blood Countess, and her sole mission is to find you and kill you with 14-inch cutting shears. The Blood Countess, also known as Elizabeth Bathory, is a 17th Century woman who wants eternal life and has killed many young women and bathed in their blood to prolong her life. What is unexplained in the movie is why she is now going after the male “Stay Alive” gamers. Has she gotten tired of bathing in female blood and/or needs a fresh new supply (i.e. Male blood)?

The killings in the unrated cut are a little more graphic than the theatrical release. It’s not as graphic as some of the recent torture/horror movies (“Saw”, “Hostel”, etc.) but it probably wouldn’t have passed the censors’ approval for a PG-13 rating. It’s been said that the “Stay Alive” filmmakers wanted an R-rating. From the looks of the unrated director’s cut though, it appears there wasn’t enough money in the budget, enough ideas for a full storyline, or enough editing discipline to realize a fully developed R-rated horror movie.

“Stay Alive” lists several producers and this might explain the PG-13 version, and the extended unrated director’s cut. If the filmmakers had started off in the first place with an R-rated cut and followed it with an unrated cut, the resulting movie may have been a more rewarding experience. Though, as it stands, it gives the viewer a feeling of having wasted a couple hours that they can’t get back. There’s also a very small amount of bonus features for a director’s cut DVD.

As Corporal Hudson said it so beautifully in James Cameron’s “Aliens”, “That’s it, man. Game over, man! Game over!” When you see the start of the end credits of this extended version of “Stay Alive”, you are glad that this movie is over!

The grave mistake the filmmakers make here is not being scary enough in the expanded director’s cut. Creepy and loud sound effects do not make a terrifying horror movie experience. The weak story’s monotonous and wooden acting simply doesn’t produce a “version way over the edge of what could be seen in theaters” as the DVD box promises.

You’re bound to have more excitement watching the unrated movie version of “Doom” starring The Rock. That movie at least has an exciting end credits sequence! Stay Alive? No, it’s more like Stay Awake, or just plain Stay Away from this one at the video store.