Despite the fact that my sometimes misguided and irrational love of slasher films may blind me to the silliness of certain entries into the subgenre, there are some films which are so mind-numbingly foolish that even I must raise a hand in defiance and say "Please come no further." The first selection for this month's theme, KILLER PARTY (1986), is one of those films, and I feel it must be acknowledged, if only to warn unassuming potential viewers away from adding it to any college-themed slasher marathons that they may attempt to assemble in the future.

The film opens on a WASP-y looking, feminine-voiced priest quoting THE WIZARD OF OZ at a eulogy, and finishing with a hilariously unenthusiastic "Well, that's it," so you figure this has got to be good. But alas, this is just one those fake-out prologues, as it is actually a movie playing on a drive-in screen. Then, just when you think that you are settling in with the real movie, it pulls the unheralded 'double fake out', as the drive-in snack bar proves to be an illusory backdrop for a music video performed by the ugliest glam hair metal band you have ever seen, fictitiously named "White Sister." (At least I pray to whatever God might be listening that they are only fabricated for the film) The band - complete with a keyboardist in a frilly acid-washed jean jacket who does jumpkicks between rockin' out on his ivories - ends up saving the heroine from zombie moviegoers with the power of their rock and hair, or some such nonsense, before the camera pulls back to reveal one of the female characters from the actual movie watching from her couch with a look of desperate boredom. This is probably the most honest moment in the entire film, although you probably won't be able to appreciate it due to the confusion caused by two films-within-a-film that start KILLER PARTY. It won't take long to catch up, though, because once the actual movie gets going, it's strictly by-the-book.

There are no surprises here in terms of plot: a group of college girls are about to pledge the hottest sorority on campus, there is a creepy old frat house where something terrible once took place that is supposedly off-limits, but may be re-opened for hell night and a subsequent party, then there's the usual bunch of titty-oggling, joke-ster frat guys hell bent on somehow pranking their way into some primo pussy. These guys do pull an admittedly awesome prank in the first act of the film, one of them pretends to be a delivery man so he can work his way into the sorority house and steal a doorknob, then at just the right moment, his bros release a bunch of angry bees near a hot tub filled with co-eds, then film the girls running naked for shelter - only, they are stuck outside in front of the camera because the doorknob is gone. Oh, those institutes of higher learning, they sure do attract America's best and brightest.

There is an early red herring in the form of the kooky housemother who talks to the single grave outside the old abandoned frat house. She refers to its occupant as Alan, and I can only assume that he was her son, but I have to ask: even if he was killed at the frat house, would he really have been buried in the backyard, headstone and all? Yeah, whatever, moving on...Whatever slight chance there was that the housemother would be behind whatever carnage takes place in KILLER PARTY is eliminated when she is cracked over the noggin with a hammer. After this initial murder, there is only one more weak kill before the finale, so let's skip on over to the third act. By this point, the girls have giggled, found boys, giggle some more, and turned the prank tables on their older frat sisters, and are now attending a hot costume party at the supposedly haunted frat house, where, guess what? The main character and supposed final girl becomes possessed by the demonic spirit of Alan, dons a diver's suit, and begins making up for the absolute lack of first and second-act violence by going on a rushed killing spree in which either director William Fruet shows that he still just doesn't get it, or the censors went wild, because there is an alarming lack of on-screen gore. Even more perplexing is the fact that the girl set up as the heroine ends up being the killer through no fault of her own.

Why, after all the set up, does she become the one possessed? It just doesn't make much sense, though it does allow for one hilarious moment: The geeky girl in the group, Vivia, gets thrown off the roof and somehow manages to survive, at which point the action moves down to the ground where she lays. The remaining friend, Phoebe, is fending off the possessed Jennifer, who, by the way, is the downright weakest friggin' demon ever. Still, for some daft reason, Phoebe turns to Vivia, who has two broken legs or some sort of ghastly injury, and repeatedly screams for her help, as if this horribly crippled girl could serve any purpose fighting a minion of Hell. Ultimately, Jennifer gets impaled, and whoops! There goes our main character, and all for naught as well, seeing as the demon moves into Phoebe, who is stuffed in an ambulance with the wildly protesting Vivia, who is swept off to her certain doom as the credits begin to roll. Overall, this is a complete shitfest that may have been produced for Canadian television from the looks of it, but regardless, if you took out the first act tit shots, KILLER PARTY would certainly garner a PG-13 nowadays. This is a shame, because Fruet put together a truly sick little minor gem with his 1976 debut HOUSE BY THE LAKE (aka DEATH WEEKEND).

On the surface, 1981's FINAL EXAM (1981) appears to be very similar to KILLER PARTY in a number of ways. Aside from the obvious college campus locations and fixation on frat pranks to pad out the running time, there are also structural similarities - namely, the fact that the first hour features very little violence or even stalking set-ups. There are the same number of Act 1 and 2 murders (two), only in this instance they take place during the opening sequence, which is not a confusing, hair-metal infused 'triple fake out', thankfully. Instead, the film begins with a couple making out in a car, with the expected girl who hears a noise and guy whose brain is so titty-fixated that his hearing has been rendered unavailable to him, an unfortunate affliction that proves to be the proverbial nail in the coffin, allowing the killer enough to time to sneak up and snuff them out. After this, no one dies for like an hour, which is something of a cardinal sin in the slasher genre. There is no doubt in my mind that 98% of fans would list this sanguinary drought as a serious drawback, and I cannot say that I disagree with the discontented masses, however, there is something to FINAL EXAM that sets it apart from KILLER PARTY and secures its superiority. For starters, the script actually takes itself seriously, but also, writer/director Jimmy Huston's characters are actually fleshed out and the significant screen time that passes without any murders is used to fully develop well-rounded characters, which is an effort that should not be undervalued.

Cecile Bagdadi, in the only film role to her credit, plays Courtney, the immediately likable lead - independent, thoughtful, vulnerable at the right times, and also strong when the situation calls for it. Plus, despite her obvious status as the Final Girl, she is neither too much of a goody two-shoes nor is she obviously virginal. Her performance brings to mind that of Amy Steel's in the same year's FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, bringing to the table everything one would be looking for out of a leading lady, which makes one wonder why she never appeared in anything before or after. The ancillary characters are also well-drawn, and play their parts with an all-around effectiveness that really helps strengthen a film that could not stand on its own on the strength of its violence or suspense sequences alone.

Ralph Brown and John Fallon are right on target as dick frat guys Wildman and Mark, as they are not so over the top as to become obnoxious caricatures. Instead, they simply are who they are and act accordingly, but not without demonstrating that they really are just college guys that want to have fun and enjoy their alpha male status. Brown is particularly good as Wildman, the typical blond jock, stealing scenes by truly living up to his name and creating a unique and memorable character who sprays deodorant in his mouth and masterminds a crazy prank in which he and his frat brothers drive a van to the heart of campus and stage a fake terrorist attack in which they spray other students who are in on the joke with fake Uzi gunfire and take the "bodies". LeAnne Robbins plays Lisa, the token slutty chick who sleeps with her teachers when it can help her get ahead in class, but even she is smart and introspective enough to acknowledge what she is doing, and can defend her actions intelligently. She even presents a level of vulnerability not expected from characters of her ilk. She seems to really be fond of, or even in love with her present professorial conquest, the sorta sleazy, but oddly likable Dr. Reynold (Don Hepner). It is a rare and refreshing treat to watch a slasher film featuring honest and complex characters who are definitively human, rather than cardboard cutout caricatures.

Fantastic Film Festival During my research on NIGHT SCHOOL for the Campus Carnage article, I found that the film had picked up something called the Terror Award at France's Avoriaz Fantastic Film Festival. Looking further into this festival, I learned that it ran from 1973 until 1993, and payed tribute to quite a few great genre films, as well as making winners out of a few perplexing choices. Some of the grand prize recipients over the years include: DUEL (in the festival's first year), PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE, CARRIE, PATRICK, THE ELEPHANT MAN, THE TERMINATOR, BLUE VELVET, and, in the final year, Peter Jackson's BRAIN DEAD. There have also been some curious winners as well, such as THE LIFT, I, MADMAN, and TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE. NIGHT SCHOOL took home the Terror Award for Best Horror Feature the same year that THE ELEPHANT MAN won Best Picture, and THE HOWLING took home the Critic's Prize. Some other Terror Award winners include: THE DEAD ZONE, MURDER ROCK, STAGE FRIGHT, HELLRAISER, and WAXWORK. In 1986, FRIGHT NIGHT won the first and only Dario Argento Award. It's also interesting that Larry Cohen and Don Coscarelli both won the Special Jury Award twice, for IT'S ALIVE and GOD TOLD ME TO, and PHANTASM and THE BEASTMASTER, respectively, while John Carpenter has won the Critic's Award three times, for HALLOWEEN, THE FOG, and PRINCE OF DARKNESS. A couple bizarre results: in 1984, Cronenberg's THE DEAD ZONE swept all the major categories except for the Grand Prize, which was claimed by the rather silly THE LIFT, which featured a killer elevator. Then, in 1993, the year that BRAIN DEAD claimed the top prize, CANDYMAN won almost every other category, with the exception of the Special Jury Prize, which was claimed by...DR. GIGGLES. Will wonders never cease!

One perplexing aspect of FINAL EXAM is the killer. I cannot tell if it is a weakness or a strength, but the psychopath has absolutely no back story, motivation, or apparent ties to his victims, nor does he have any supernatural abilities to speak of (aside from inexplicably being able to catch an arrow shot at him from close range by a final reel wannabe-hero.) He looks like if Tom Savini were 50% Cherokee Indian and stole that infamously inflated codpiece from the guy on the front of the cover box for Bill Lustig's MANIAC. I don't know if it is a bold move or a lazy one to have no definition or motivation for your killer, but as he is one of the least memorable aspects of the film, I suppose I'd have to lean towards this being a bad call on Huston's behalf. However, there is a part of me that thinks maybe it's not so bad to have a killer who is just plain psycho and killing at random, rather than attempting some hokey final reel explanations to muddle things up. Ultimately, I think this choice will polarize viewers, with numerous people on either side of the fence. Despite the fact that FINAL EXAM is similar to KILLER PARTY in its utter lack of violence during the first two acts and rushed collection of fairly bloodless killings during the final third, it is the solid writing of Huston and the layered performances of the cast that makes it much more enjoyable than the latter film.

THE INITIATION (1984) is another film that lands smack dab in the middle of the pack, and maybe a bit towards the lower echelon of that pantheon of average-ness. The film opens with a flashback/dream sequence that ultimately becomes the crux of the action. Two men are struggling, and one ends up getting lit on fire. This is the somewhat perplexing recurring nightmare of the main character, Kelly (Daphne Zuniga), a young college freshman who is rushing a popular campus sorority. She decides to write her term paper on "dreams and nightmares," focusing on recurrence, conveniently enough. Part of her checkered past includes having been in an accident at age nine, leaving her an amnesiac once she emerges from a coma. She has spent much of her life trying to put the pieces back together, and her nightmare seems to be the final piece of the puzzle. Not long before her sorority plans to spend a night in a department store (curiously similar to another 80's slasher cheese-fest, HIDE AND GO SHRIEK), there is a breakout at a nearby mental hospital, in which a nurse is brutally murdered.

Kelly volunteers for a dream analysis study conducted by her professor, Dr. Peter Adams (James Read), and her classmate Heidi (Joy Jones), who is also a research assistant. Their findings may suggest supernatural psychic phenomena, but Adams dismisses it as "science fiction." Kelly's mother and father are none too supportive of her decision to work with Dr. Adams, suggesting that there may be some dark secret that they do not want her to unlock.

Similar to the previous two films discussed here, the first half is pretty uneventful, but once the kids pile into the department store for the night, things get pretty grisly. It seems fairly obvious that Kelly's real father - the fire-disfigured man from the prologue - is the killer, as we see him stalking around the store during the night. But because of all the talk about "mirror images" during Adams' and Heidi's "riveting" bouts of psychobabble, we know that there has to be some kind of twist lurking in the wings (bringing to mind a far superior film, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME). This is actually a little bit better than I remember, though, featuring quite a few bloody killings during the third act. There is a hatchet to the face reminiscent of BAY OF BLOOD, and that film's (supposedly unwitting) doppelganger, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, an arrow through the chest, and a three-pronged garden tool planted in the chest of the night watchman, among others. This is way better than KILLER PARTY, and while it can not come close to matching the level of character development in FINAL EXAM, it is still more exciting during the final half. However, it is not nearly as mature a film as the next one on the docket.

NIGHT SCHOOL (1981) is definitely the most adult of the four films covered thus far. It is isn't overly gory or suspenseful, but it does deal with much more mature characters and situations than the average film of its kind, and is one of the more emotionally complex entries into the subgenre, which may explain why some critics have taken quite a shine to it. In fact, it managed to take home the "Terror Award" in the 1981 Avoriaz Fantastic Film Festival, which was held annually in France from 1973 until 1993 (I found this interesting enough to warrant digging deeper into the festival's history, so, as a result, I have added a sidebar detailing some of the more intriguing aspects of the festival).

Lt. Judd Austin (Leonard Mann) is the cop on the case in a string of "headhunter" murders plaguing a Boston campus. The film opens with a rather ridiculous murder sequence featuring a teacher who is spun around at high speed on one of those playground roundabouts designed for little kids. Due to the out-of-control velocity created by the leather and biker helmet-clad killer, the teacher is apparently unable to leap off and thus flies directly into the path of the killer's machete blade, becoming the first character to lose her head. Judd is called away from his post-coital breakfast with his lady-friend, bringing to a beginning and an end the subplot-in-the-making concerning his girlfriend's displeasure with the lack of time he spends with her. In fact, she never even shows up in the film again, despite the time director Ken Hughes spends on this moment!

The lopped off heads at the scene of each murder are found submerged in water, reminiscent of centuries-old rituals performed in various third-world societies. Lt. Judd questions around campus in order to gather information about the killings, and in doing so, basically blows the "twist" ending. The first person Judd speaks with is professor of anthropology Dr. Vincent Millet, who we soon learn has a reputation for bedding his students at the all-female college (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention this little detail?) During the interview, we meet his foreign exchange student/teaching assistant Eleanor (Rachel Ward), who we have to assume is assisting in more than grading papers when, in the next scene, she lets Vincent smear red war paint all over her naked body while fucking her in the shower. She grows jealous as his other affairs come to light, and soon more women from the college begin losing their heads in ways described in Millet's class. Hmm...does this case really take much detecting? Apparently so, judging by Judd's laborious handling of the case.

Despite the obvious identity of the killer, there is one nice final wrinkle thrown in the mix that not only provides a twist, but a final commentary and minor rebuttal to Vincent's initially cynical statements suggesting that humans are the one species that is inherently evil and selfish. Dr. Millet poses as the killer in order to protect Eleanor, who is carrying his child, sacrificing himself despite the horror with which he reacts to the revelation that she is the headhunter, All in all, NIGHT SCHOOL has its strengths and is a more mature-than-average, adult-themed slasher, but that doesn't change the fact that it is a mystery without any mystery, a suspense-less suspenser, and really, really gore-free for a movie that features no less than five decapitations by machete! So far, we've been middling around in the depths of relative mediocrity as far as campus slashers are concerned. So why not finish things with a bang by looking deeper into what is quite possibly the best of the entire bunch, a film so incredibly sleazy and exploitive that its tagline need not say anything other than: "It is exactly what you think it is!"

Yes, of course I am referring to Juan Piquer Simon's amazingly, almost impossibly entertaining gorefest PIECES (1982). This is one of the greatest 80's Euro-sleaze slashers around. Despite the American origins of the slasher film, sometimes you just have to leave it up to the Europeans to do it right. The glorious cover box featuring a dismembered woman laying in a pile in front of an enormous chainsaw is almost worth the price of admission alone, but what waits within is nothing short of pure treasure...

The film opens on a young boy putting together a puzzle featuring a naked woman; his mother walks in and chastises him, so of course, he assaults and slaughters her with a sizable axe. The police eventually find the boy hiding in the closet splattered with blood, and automatically assume that he is a victim, having been forced to watch. God forbid they do any kind of forensic investigation, as even the simplest probe into the scene would have revealed only the boy's prints on the murder weapon. But why split hairs, ya know? So, who will this pint-sized psychopath grow up to be? Whoever it is, they are still working on that goddamn puzzle thirty some-odd years later when the action picks back up, and can't seem to manage to get the bush put together; when he finally gets it, his gloves are bloody from a fresh kill, smearing sanguinary the woman's naughty bits, just a glimpse of the unrepentant scumminess to come. Once the film reaches its main location, the "typical American college campus," like NIGHT SCHOOL, set in Boston, Piquar wastes no time getting down to business with a gloriously trashy beheading via chainsaw, during which a girl's head is shown flying across the screen before coming to rest in the grass near the bushes.

Soon after this initial killing, the inimitable Chris George is on the case as Det. Lt. Bracken (yes, that's Detective Lieutenant), bringing in Mary Riggs (Susan George) as a cop undercover as the school's on-campus tennis pro. For whatever reason, the cops seem to have no problem allowing campus stud Kendall James (Ian Sera) to work the case with them, despite the great risk involved. But hey, whatever, he's as gung-ho as you'd like, so why not? The sequence featuring Mary competing against and defeating another fellow "tennis pro" is fucking priceless; her opponent's moves are more akin to those of a seventh grader with cerebral palsy than a legit athlete.

Flash forward a couple of kill sequences, and you have to love how one female student does aerobics to the tune of some skanky stripper-lounge music - not exactly as upbeat as you'd expect for this type of activity, but it doesn't matter, seeing as jumping jacks become pretty obsolete once she has her arm sawed off not one minute later in the elevator by the killer, who, donning a trench coat and fedora, resembles the BLOOD AND BLACK LACE murderer, and in a way pre-figures Freddy Kruger.

PIECES boasts probably the greatest red herring in slasher film history - viewers, meet Willard! He is a slovenly groundskeeper with a finely crusted beard who wears the same butter-stained shirt every day with the two top buttons undone, likely as a clever method of displaying the silky layer of sweat and grime he has naturally built up over the years within the depths of his impossibly tousled chest hair - a powerful natural aphrodisiac. Willard also deserves the special distinction for doling out the longest sustained stink eye - carried throughout his entire role in the film. His arched eyebrow on one side and squinted eye on the other reminds everyone he encounters how much he truly hates them, a charming trait that cannot be undervalued. His position as groundskeeper lends believability to his consistent possession of a chainsaw - the killer's weapon of choice. We here at BthroughZ salute you, Willard, a deserving inductee into the red herring Hall of Blame!

A little more than halfway through the film, there is an amazing sequence of scenes. To begin with, Kendall has to repeatedly tell his quivering fuck buddy to shut up her wails of ecstasy, which carry on even after he has dismounted her, so he can stand up and reveal his dick in a moonlit stroll to the window to look out over his campus. Upon seeing Mary in potential danger down in the courtyard, he throws on some clothes and leaves his throbbing concubine high, but far from dry. Before he can reach Mary, she is confronted with a hilariously bizarre situation that may very well have inspired Eli Roth's "Pancakes" sequence in CABIN FEVER with not only its content but its sheer randomness. From out of nowhere leaps an Asian man in a blue jumpsuit who puts on a martial arts display before having his mugging attempt thwarted by a swift kick to the balls from Mary. Kendall arrives a moment too late, but when he does, it becomes apparent that he is familiar with the assailant. Before unceremoniously running off, the man makes a ridiculously stereotypical remark about having eaten some bad chop suey, then the three have a laugh and all is forgiven. Huh?!? Shortly after, Willard is attacked by a group of police officers, and while successfully maintaining his intimidating stink eye, he drop kicks one of the cops, who flies back a solid 8 to 10 feet into a pool. Amazing.

The political correctness of PIECES is essentially non-existent, as Chris George suggests to one of his detectives that he take some uppers in order to remain on the case. Later, when a topless girl is the process of being pursued by the killer, the camera focuses in for a close-up of the hapless girl pissing her pants before being sawed in half at the waist. Stay classy, PIECES! The great thing about the film is that it is a European production imitating an American one, so it brings the best of both worlds to the table - the basic coherence and storytelling ability of a domestic product, with the shameless nudity, explicit gore, and general mean-spirited sleaze of Euro-horror. A flying head relieved of its duties by way of the 'saw, a kitchen knife plunged through the head and out the mouth HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY-style, an arm violently removed by chainsaw followed by a spurting artery, a naked body sloppily bisected (followed by Susan George trying out about four increasingly over-the-top methods of screaming "Bastard!" to the heavens with clenched fists) - you can only find these wonders in a foreign product, as a rule. Hell, I haven't even mentioned the nonsensical final coup, in which an impossibly-enlivened, stitched together Frankenslut viciously shreds Kendall's overused penis with its bare hands, coaxing a Jerry Lewis-esque, cross-eyed look of surprise from our hero before the final credits roll. Brilliant...

You simply cannot top PIECES as far as campus slashers go, but if you'd like to check out some other titles, here's a short list of options that I have yet to cover: SCREAM 2(high-priced, high-profile, mildly entertaining), THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (terrible), THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (probably better than everything described here other than PIECES), PLEDGE NIGHT (featuring ex-Anthrax frontman Joey Belladonna as the killer, I remember this flick as being quite gory and pretty entertaining, but it is way out of print and fairly difficult to dig up at this point), BLOOD SISTERS (strictly run of the mill), POPCORN (original, if a bit silly), URBAN LEGENDS (see SCREAM 2), HELL NIGHT (a bit slow and not much gore, but very atmospheric and well-made), BLACK CHRISTMAS (without a doubt, the greatest film mentioned in this article, but I feel like it fits more into the "seasonal slasher" category), and TO ALL A GOODNIGHT (pretty terrible, muddy-looking Christmas season campus slasher directed by David Hess). TERROR TRAIN features college students, but does not actually take place on campus, so it does not count in my mind.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed this look into one favorite location of the slasher subgenre. Join me next month to take a trip even further back to the high school days!