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CANADIAN CARNAGE Q&A
Jamie sits down (emails actually, people seem leery to meet him in person) with the folks
behind Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer for a little game of 20 Questions and waxes mostolgic
about growing up in Essex County. WARNING: Canuck-centric reading ahead.
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JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER
JB:MS isn't so much a horror movie for people who love horror movies. It's a
monster movie for people who love monsters.
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WIZARD ON WIZARD VIOLENCE
Gratuitous gore vs. bodacious breasts. Crispin Glover vs. well... not a whole lot. Both stink,
but for entirely different reasons. But hey, at least the new one's got the Suicide Girls.
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PROJECT MIIKE: AN EXPERIMENT IN MINDFUCKERY
Three movies, one night, endless psychological damage. A totally unprepared reviewer sits
down with three of Takashi Miikes most infamous movies and writes about the soul
scarring experience. We hope she's okay.
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OUTSIDE THE GENRE
Random questions with people from outside the genre. This issue: Porn legend Randy
West, MST3K's Frank Conniff, and Last Comic Standing's Chris Porter.
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HYBRID
Dr. Leslie and Carla are so dirty, they should take a shower!
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BLOOD, BOOBS & GOOD TITLES
"No sex please, we're British?" Bollocks to that! Read about how Hammer Films spiced things up at the start of the 1970's, courtesy of the three key ingredients listed above.
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BOOBS OF BLOOD: THE BLOOD ISLAND TRILOGY
SEE nubile native maidens, stripped bare and ravished by hideous atomic monstrosities! SEE blonde bombshells succumb to the lusty tropic heat! SEE John Ashley's sideburns!
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I ♥ REMAKES
The opinions expressed in this review do not necessarily represent the opinions of the site or people with good taste. Part 2.
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GODZILLA PART 1
Ever wanted to enjoy two behemoth's battling it out but don't know whats going on? Ever wonder how an evil monster in one film can be a hero in another? Come to me and I'll make you understand.
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QUARANTINE
Bad, Hollywood, bad!
You leave that foreign movie alone.
Put it down. Now. I mean it!
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THE CHANGELING
This classic haunted house tale proves that with age fear only gets better. Strange, eerie noises, a shocking crime long hidden and a ghost that just won't stay silent.
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HALLOWEEN 3
It should be titled "Angel gets wasted and reviews a movie he hasn't seen in over a decade".
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MOTHER OF TEARS
Arguably one of the most anticipated horror sequels of all time, right behind CHUD 2: Bud the Chud. Does it live up to the hype? Well, its better than The Covenant, as far as witchery goes...
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NEVER CRY WEREWOLF
Unless you've got a hot Canadian chick and Kevin fuckin' Sorbo.
ps. Fright Night called, they want their script back. They sounded pissed.
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THE GATE
Keep an eye out for this one. It's dark, it's demonic, it's a surrealistic headfuck... it's a kid's movie?!
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RISE: BLOOD HUNTER
Good looking vampires can't save a sucky film. Lucy Liu struggles with a weak plot and bloodless dialogue. This movie was definitely a lesson in once bitten, twice shy.
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DEAD SILENCE
Who says creepy little children can have all the fun? Check out this dummy and his murderous habit of slaying. You'll wish you'd learned to keep your mouth shut.
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PRINCE OF DARKNESS
Rock gods, people spitting green Satan goop, and a hero with one fine mustache. What more could you want? John Carpenter breaks the mold in about every way imaginable, sans Rowdy Roddy Piper.
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ARCADE
Why work when you can kill zombies. Shirk your responsibilities and live in a grue filled fantasy world with no human interaction. And it's free!
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VOLUNTEER
Seriously, is there no one out their with any GIMP/PhotoShop skills willing to waste their time on a completely worthless and shoddily made website? For no pay? And of course, we still need writers.
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ARCHIVES
Check out all of our past issues!
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s t a f f
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jamie
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angel
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dustin
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will
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ben
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janet
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badsville
cat
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vincent
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karyne
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spike
vicious
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drew
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