In the near future, a NASA shuttle approaches Haley’s Comet to take a reading of its surface; but the mission changes drastically when the astronauts discover a gargantuan spaceship hidden in the comet’s tail. In the ship, they find a few hundred dead, freeze-dried bat creatures and three full-frontally nude humans perfectly preserved in crystal sarcophagi.

Months later, the NASA ship floats back into Earth’s orbit. Mysteriously, the crew is destroyed, the escape pod missing, and only those same three naked people are to be found, still locked in their coffins. When they are brought to Earth’s surface, their true natures are discovered.

The beings (surprise, surprise) are space vampires, energy-based beings that can take the naked forms of their victims’ greatest desires to lure them in; and they feed on human souls! They also exhibit the ability to inhabit human bodies and turn into lightening or animated pools of blood. But what they mostly do is mesmerize people with their Weirding Way voices and their cleavage in order to drain their lifeforce.

Though the male vampires are quickly dispatched, the female of the species (played by the amply endowed Mathilda May) is able to devour a security guard, turning him into a very impressive animatronic, emaciated, zombie. The vampire needs to feed every two hours, and her victims resurrect two hours after the feeding, needing to drain a new victim themselves, lest they very dramatically explode.

This is the true danger of the space vampires; as they feed, they create more hungry zombies, who soon turn into a plague, threatening to swarm London, possibly all of the UK. When those zombies who can’t find food in time explode, their souls are collected by the vampire’s spaceship for later consumption.

And did I mention that the incredibly stacked vampire woman is completely naked? Don’t worry, if you forget, director Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) will remind you as soon as he can.

The world’s only hope for survival is the unlikely duo of an objectivist British Special Forces operative (Peter Firth), and the sole surviving pilot from the doomed NASA flight (Steve Railsback). He has a psychic rapport with the vampire, a result of her taking her form from his mind, and can use it to track her and her sexy, shape-shifting escapades. The unorthodox detective work forces the astronaut to slap around a series of masochistic women, and ultimately make-out with Star Trek’s Patrick Stuart, in whom the vampire is hiding. Captain Picard. Man kiss.

It culminates in a chase across London, smashing through thousands of exploding zombies, and a mid-coital sword fight in St. Peter’s Cathedral. Will the world be rid of the space vampires? Can the love of the NASA pilot for the vampire vixen curb her lust for souls?

Lifeforce is an interesting movie to say the least. It’s technically a horror film, but it doesn’t try to scare so much as explore complex ideas using some classic horror staples. Those ideas, love, death, the origin of myth, alien forms of intelligence and sexuality, are perhaps too complex for a two-hour movie. Even its lengthy, meandering presentation seems to never adequately explain all of the details or eloquently spell out its own ideals. Because of that, the movie wears in the middle, it feels too long, but in a strange paradox is actually too short for the scope of its story.

This is Tobe Hooper’s first epic scale film, and it shows, the movie is just a little too big for its britches. Too often, the audience is left scratching their head thinking ‘Why in the Holy Hell did that happen?’ In a movie where the direction of the story changes so often, that’s a major failing. The relentless barrage of new ideas, characters, and themes can be absolutely draining on an audience.

But Lifeforce offers just enough blood and guts for visceral fans, and can appeal to monster fans of many varieties. What really makes the film stand out is its blend of horror and sci-fi, that gives a rare, cosmic style about its terror. Beyond that the film features many cameos from well-known British actors. Oh, and copious amounts of boobs.

It can be daunting for some, but if you like a horror movie with a dense, meaty story and some unique twists, give it a look.